Mortality Madlibs

On this day, three years ago, my biological grandmother passed away. She suffered from COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and passed away in her home. Six months later I met my biological mother for the first time in a crowded foodcourt at a mall north of the city I live in. During our first encounter she told me about her mother. The love was palpable. I know D misses her mother so much and I’m sad I didn’t get to meet her because life is _________.

This month has been heavy (and not for the usual reasons). Bless my poor sweet Odin, I’ve barely had any time to give him because life is _________. I’m wide awake at a completely unreasonable hour because my own father is currently laid up in the hospital after a scheduled, non-life-threatening, (but entirely gruesome) surgery on his leg. I have a tendency to worry about him more than most people in my life but I guess that’s just what love is. Not knowing how to live without a person who you love more than you can explain with words and sometimes worrying (irrationally) that the day you have to start living without them could come at any moment because life is _________. I’m trying to get my bruised heart to hope that that day is thirty years in the future because someone needs to teach a kid of mine how to fish (and not catch anything, and not care about not catching anything).

Sometimes when the reality that I will actually die someday slaps me in the face when I’m trying to sleep at night, I realize that it’s not so much that I’m afraid to die. It’s that I’m afraid that I will outlive everyone I love most. Because life is _________.

Guess who has therapy today! Me. It’s me, I have therapy today.

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